Harley Davidson and the Malboro Man had the potential to be a pretty decent "Man's Man" movie, but it took too long to get started. Then, once it did get good, and the story got interesting, it fails at about the point our heroes and their relentless nemeses decided to be too invincible.
Harley Davidson (Mickey Rourke) and the Malboro Man (Don Johnson, hubba! hubba!) are the subject of our story as two loner heroes. Their "rugged terrain" in their Texas town, one that motorcycle riders and cowboys love--dirt roads, dust, etc--is being overrun by skyscrapers. Amidst their routine bar brawl and pool hustling, they learn that their close friend's bar, the 'Rock N' Roll Bar', is facing a tough financial crises because, with all the development in town, rents are on the rise. The bar owner's five year lease is now $2.5 million, and without it, his landlord is threatening to shut him down.
So, Harley Davidson gets the bonehead idea that he and his buddies, including Malboro Man should rob the bank. Only, what they steal turns out to be blue bricks of "Crystal Dream." The bank CEO (I guess that's what he is), played by Tom Seizemore, orders his three invincible goons in bulletproof Matrix-like trench coats to get back their stash--no matter what. Harley Davidson and Malboro Man think they're just going to hold the junk ransom and order that the bank goons pay $2.5 million and that will be the end of it. No way.
****SPOILERS BEYOND**** There's too many far-fetched action sequences that for me, ruined the makings of a pretty decent action flick. For example, when Harley and Malboro stow away on a plane to Las Vegas, their trench coat-wearing nemeses still magically find them. Even know the hotel where they're staying and what floor they're on. Then, Harley and Malboro, having to run for cover on the roof, decide that it would be a good idea to jump off the hotel into a swimming pool. Jumping from that height into a pool of water would be the equivalent of jumping onto concrete. They would have never survived the fall.
Harley Davidson and Malboro Man (except for the very end for Malboro Man) never ever get shot despite the fusillade of gunfire they always manage to step into. The villains always carry around something like Uzi's and the heroes carry around plain old handguns. But they never get hit.
There's that part in the airport graveyard where, even though one of the guys is wearing the bulletproof trench coat, and Harley and Malboro know they have to shoot him in the head, they still pierce his chest with bullets despite the trench coat.
The end is even more ridiculous as Tom Seizemore is hanging out of the window by the heel of his shoe.
I was just starting to enjoy the movie before all of that happened. But, that's basically what you're in for. So, if you like a movie with bar brawls, pool hustlers, *, motorcylces, and shoot outs, and can still have fun with it, despite all of those incredulous flaws, then this movie is probably good for you. I thought it was only half good.
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