It's hard to criticize a movie like The Food of the Gods. Meaning, it hits every low point: bad acting, cinematography, writing & dialogue, horrible special effects and worst of all, "suspenseful scenes" that literally will make you laugh out loud. Who needs Mystery Science Theater 3000 to make fun of this – just watch it for your own personal amusement.
I did. I laughed very hard in spots, from the stilled framed credits to the opening dialogue ("My name is Morgan and I play football. We'd worked our butts off trying' to get it together for the big Sunday game
") to the big COCK fight between our hero and a large COCK. Also, the film pans from close-ups of "giant" rats to an actual sized car to now regular rats attacking a toy car. PRICELESS FX. Don't forget the TIDAL WAVE and wasps. Heck, the only thing (hilariously) convincing were the enlarged worms and even them, not so much.
Footballer – American that is
or is it Canadian? – Morgan (Marjoe) is headed to "the country" (or in human terms, an island) to hunt or whatever male bonding he chooses with his two mates. One of them is inadvertently stung to death by giant wasps. Well, they strike and leave, thankfully, giving our heroes enough time to investigate.
They take one of MANY very long trips on the ferry back to shore with their friend's body. Stop. Okay, even at only 88 minutes, this movie drags on far too long. And most of the time was spent, incredibly, on the ferryboat. Did they rent it? And did that take half their budget? But, I digress, for very weak reasons, the two remaining buddies travel back to the island (via ferry, AGAIN) to investigate the death and meet up with both the incredibly hilarious "Mrs. Skinner" (Lupino) who speaks of her (unbeknownst to her, late) husband as "Mr. Skinner" (McLiam) and a pair of coworkers, one of which is to (GASP) profit off a white goo pumping from the ground that caused all creatures to grow to huge proportions.
(To speak like the villains in the first Scream movie: Horror Movie Rule #156b – Do NOT trust any bubbling white substance coming up from the ground. The Stuff – 'Enuff Said.) The main enemy, is the rats, but there's worms, wasps and chickens to add to the tension. But, let's think about this: who's the real enemy here? Are we being punished for polluting the Earth? Eh, that's their message at any rate.
Spend the rest of the movie laughing at their lines, their driving and rats climbing on a miniature house just for kicks. One of the funniest scenes in the "climax" is a rat's trying to get into the room and a character's shutting the door on its head. It almost matched the JAWS spoof, Land Shark, from Saturday Night Live.
Even though this movie is only allotted one out of five stars, I will admit, the finale (end credits,) though thoroughly predictable – heck, they mention it throughout, including the opening, was rather creepy. That almost granted it an additional ½ star.
I wanted to see this movie again, as I was scared as a child and always had a thing for When Animals Attack movies (SEE: Empire of the Ants and ants!) but this movie is just simply horrible. Maybe a young toddler would be a'runnin', but no adult should be subjected to this: "You know, I used to think about dying a lot. I'd lie there in bed at night in the dark; I guess I've always had a fear of it. I'd used to fantasize the most horrible deaths. You know the most frightening. None of them come close to being eaten by a rat!"
