what happens when a great director turns to script writing, a seemingly successful producer takes up the task of direction, a not-so-known model thinks she has got the caliber of becoming a top actress, and a flop actor who thinks, not wearing a t-shirt will make him as popular as salman....? well... they can churn a comedy out of it!
don't believe me?? have an example: (writing only the English translation of the dialogs, watch out the movie for the actual Hindi dialogs)
scene: The climax: The villain is holding his gun and pointing it on the heroine. While everyone is watching this helplessly, the hero steps forwards.
Fire the shot. I said fire the shot. If you want to kill someone, kill me. (He comes closer, and puts his head in front of the gun)
who you're going to kill? Her ?? (points to heroine)
or him? or this kid? | (camera moves to her father, then to a small kid...)
and if you still don't get satisfied.. are you going to kill all of 'em? | (This time you see a dozen of villagers.)
how many people you're going to kill? just how many...? Its enough. Stop all that (crap).|
(The villain starts feeling sentimental, drops gun, bends down to knees, surrenders! Bravo... The power of emotions!)
So this is what you see in this terribly acted, "witness"-copied, two hour drama: paap
The characters: A kid: who is the eyewitness of a murder. The hero: who is a police inspector, and his sole task is to save that kid from any danger, and taking him from DELHI to MANALI, safely. The heroine: who does nothing but feels lonely in the silence of MANALI, & then she writes some sentimental Hindi poetry (watch out the movie for a class poetry, well I mean, a third-class one.) A gang of three villains: who have got this big task of tracking down the hero & the only eyewitness of the murder, the kid.
The storyline: The heroine comes to DELHI to take a kid (who is supposedly some avatar, according to her guru) back with her to MANALI, meanwhile the kid witnesses a murder. The hero jumps in, and finds out that the murderer was one of his senior officers. Now to save the kid and the heroine, he has to drive till MANALI (driving is a tough task you know.), meanwhile he gets hurt and then spends an entire month while getting well...
No! he doesn't come back, its the villains who track him down, and come all the way to MANALI, & get killed (2 of them , the third one surrenders, as described earlier...)
And what the guy does, while he is in MANALI?? well, one day he prepares daal (an Indian dish), the next day he milks a yak (watch out on discovery), another day he rides a donkey, & so on...
Ohhh... by this time you must have been thinking, what the heck this name PAAP (means "sin") is given for then? well... In the entire movie the heroine is told almost a dozen times (by her father) that its a 'paap' for her to think about this guy! & here goes a dialog describing the complete movie in a sentence:
heroine: "agar ye paap hai, " | If thats a sin.. | "to aaj mujhe ye paap kar lene do," | ..then lemme do it. | (and she touches hero's face and starts crying)
Oh god. Was that the greatest comedy ever made or what?
I heard this comment while walking out of the cinema hall:
what the "#$@@!, Its us, who committed the sin. Bought a ticket worth 140 bucks. Might have got two bottles of beer w/ that money.
