Trapped in the deluge of 26 July, 2005, carefully navigating around half-submerged vehicles and dodging death on the flooded streets of Mumbai, Emraan Hashmi tells Soha Ali Khan that the first thing he's going to do when he gets home is watch Sholay. It is my humble suggestion that the makers of this film, Tum Mile go straight home and watch Sholay themselves. Some lessons in screenplay writing and basic shot-taking wouldn't hurt. A story of former lovers who part acrimoniously, then suddenly come face-to-face one day when everything and everyone around them is falling apart in the torrential downpour, Tum Mile is intended as a poignant drama about how a life-changing event makes this couple realise that they've always loved each other. The problem is there's not enough drama in the screenplay to begin with. The first half of Tum Mile is spent setting up the relationship between Emraan and Soha, who play Akshay and Sanjana, a struggling artist and a successful journalist in Cape Town. Over the course of an hour we watch as they meet, fall in love, squabble, and ultimately part ways. The deluge, by the way, is yet to come. Post-intermission, the action shifts to Mumbai where the couple is reunited years after calling off their relationship. Wading through waist-deep waters, Akshay and Sanjana contemplate their failed romance. For the next hour or so they yak incessantly, boring you to death with their supposedly-profound realisations. Where's the action, you ask? Well, there's hardly any. You do get one good scene in which they're trapped in a dilapidated building whose wall crumbles against the force of water, compelling them to race in the opposite direction. Ripped straight out of James Cameron's Titanic, it's the only exciting scene in this tiresome film. Tum Mile suffers also on account of its uninspired leads, Emraan Hashmi and Soha Ali Khan who appear bored out of their wits going through their scenes. They fail to strike up any romantic chemistry whatsoever, and perform so monotonously, you can't be blamed for disconnecting from their supposed pain. The film's special effects are unimpressive, and the photography is uniformly flat. I also want to point out in particular how unflatteringly Soha Ali Khan has been photographed. The actress ought to sue the film's director and cinematographer for how carelessly they shoot her. Tum Mile has a hummable score, but it doesn't succeed on most other counts.You may survive the floods, but Emraan and Soha's irritating dialogues will most certainly kill you!
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